Merry “Happy 500 Days” Christmas!
Well, Christmas day was 500 days for my husband and me. 500 days of what? 500 days of learning what it means to start surrendering your life and marriage to your heavenly father. 500 days of learning what it means to be SECOND. The hardest 500 days of my life. For 500 days we’ve consistently been in God’s word and prayed together and I can guarantee you without a shadow of a doubt that is why our marriage is still intact. It was through Him not us. It was because of Him not us and it will always be that way.
As Christmas day approached I couldn’t help but think about the gift that came to earth for me and for you, the gift that was sent from God his Son. His Son came just so he could be our rescue from this world. It was overwhelming to say the least, to think that my 500 days actually started with Christmas! Christmas was the day that Christ made the huge sacrifice, descending to this horrible ole crummy earth to walk and live just so that he could eventually hang on a cross and die for our sins.
We Made it…
we made it to another Christmas, but unfortunately even though my mind knows who to trust in, it didn’t take long before the anxiety of starting a new and another year sets in. 2012 was the worst year of my life, 2013 we were still learning how to come out of 2012 and it certainly brought its own hurts and loss. 2014 scares me to death, my little earthly mind wonders what hurt is around the corner and what the New Year holds for us and if it’s survivable.
Then I heard of an idea, “Looking at the New Year with eyes of FAITH.” Could be a possibility, but can I do it?
I think that instead of looking at 2014 with and through eyes of fear I need to be determined to look through eyes of FAITH.
I need to trump the thoughts of what now, with WHAT does GOD have for me? As day 500 passed, and the Holidays are almost over, I’m easily swarmed with feelings of how and why, fears of how to stretch the dollars of a single income while my husband looks for work and fears of if sexual addictions are really gone. On the other hand I can rest in assurance that God has this, has had this and will have it! I can rest in him and trust that every step is according to God’s plan and that my only job every minute of the day is to submit to the authority of the word and my heavenly father’s shaping hands.
I’ll be honest, part of me fears is that my God will let go or that he’ll take a break and that he’s not going to be standing there in 2014 waiting for us, however according to the word– that’s not so. I know that he tells me through his word that he has never thrown away something in which he began his work. We are his workmanship and in Ephesians it tells us that. He doesn’t discard his children, he doesn’t discard me, and I shouldn’t fear 2014.
“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” Ephesians 2:10
So bring it on 2014, because with my Lord, myself, my husband and my marriage has already weathered revelations and acknowledgments of sex addictions, adultery, habitual lying, financial problems, work related ethical issues that lead to more financial problems and loss of work, multiple reasons to have trust issues and so much more yet we still stand– the three of us, my Husband, my savior and myself.
Please give me the strength to enter 2014 with instead of fear, FAITH—with a focus on YOU and mot me or my circumstances. May I be a daughter of yours that is continually shaped and used by you this year. It’s your year; I’m just here to live out your will not mine. Give me the strength to continually seek you in everything that I do every day of the week. Please help me be the wife that you want me to be, the mom that you want me to be, the friend and co-worker that you want me to be. Fulfill in me what you have planned. Dear Lord, please protect my husband. Please deliver and heal him from head to toe, inside and out. Please protect his eyes, his mind, his heart. Please guide his thoughts, his hands and his feet. Dear father, please protect my daughter from the things of this world and what has been brought into our marriage. Please help her to not feel the sting of her parent’s wrong choices but help her see the commitment to you and each other that now resides. Thank you, I love you and I need you.